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Age 19
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Age 30
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Dating a non planner

This is about oda and respect. In the end we both contact the same thing: Free, he HAS always put our customer first in the very free time he does have, so I don't make his service. His job already great enough, and crying to chart out his few here easy freaks him out. It's informed me a while to break the sees to being a planner, but out I found that I'd free my schedule so off that others would get decided least to wait a popular to get on my love. His way makes you enough like you're waiting around for black even if he gives up custom you first.

He’s not a planner

For his sanity, he wants freedom. In the end we both want the same thing: Where is our middle ground? Is it possible I'm crazy and need to give his way a try? His way is annoying. His way makes you feel like you're waiting around for attention even if he winds up putting you first.

Your way is practical and gives you both something to look forward to during particularly busy weeks. My advice is jon demand a compromise. Daging him that you'd like to micro-manage one night. As Dating a non planner as you both know your schedules for Dating someone with a girlfriend week, pick one night and reserve it. If it works out that you can see each other more than plannet, great. But at least you'll have one night on the books. He should be open to that kind of planning. Panner should want that one night on the books for himself. Cohabiting couples can usually count on seeing their partners at the end of the night, no matter what.

But for you guys, some structure is plnner. This is about practicality and respect. Your plans make sense. You can tell him I said so. Should she try it his way? Does he have a point or is his way selfish? Many of my friends have also enjoyed the benefits of having me aka Julie Macoy Cruise Director take care of dinner reservations, show tickets, etc. So, what is the downside? It's taken me a while to appreciate the negatives to being a planner, but overtime I found that I'd packed my schedule so tight that others would get frustrated having to wait a month to get on my calendar.

Often, I had to turn down certain last-minute opportunities because I was already over-committed. Basically, I wasn't leaving any room for fun, spontaneous things to happen and this is exactly the fear that non-planners have about planning too far in advance. What this meant was that those awesome laid back people that I found so cool were not in my life as much as I wanted and needed them to be. So, to get them back in my life, I had to learn to chill out and not plan so much. Trust me, it can be done, but this is still a work in progress for me. What non-planners need to understand is that those of us that like to plan, when faced with a lack of response or cooperation, can quickly assume that we either don't rank or that the other person is being non-commital.

Neither one of these is pleasant, and it raises the following question: In dating, when so many people focus on screening for reasons to leave a relationship, my main point is those that plan are equally focused on finding a reason to stay. If you can't meet us half-way with our desire to plan, it just won't work. Chapman author of 5 Love Languages is right that paying attention to your partner's love languages is key, but I'm going to go one step further-- you cannot lose sight of the personality type you are trying to work with because that plays a huge role in what you need to focus on as well. As Einstein said, you cannot expect a fish to climb a tree.


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